Time to wait and see
This is not about weight loss or otherwise unless you put it under excuses for not eating correctly. I need somewhere to express my thoughts and anywhere else I would do this my boss also uses so that’s not exactly appropriate. So please try to put up with this or move on if you don’t want to read.
Those of you who have read my previous blogs will know that I am in the process of trying to change jobs and yesterday was my 2nd interview for a job I really want.
I think the interview went well and my recruitment consultant had told me that I might find out today if they were going to make me an offer, however he hasn’t heard anything yet one way or the other. I hate not knowing. I think I’d rather know the worst than be left waiting to find out. I really hope I find out tomorrow.
This week has been all round stressful, luckily the curry cleared up my cold before it had chance to really take hold, but on Monday I was presented with a letter stating that work wanting to change my Ts & Cs so I had a 3 month notice period, I obviously haven’t signed it yet but I can’t put it off forever and if I don’t get this job I’ll have to factor that in when I apply for any more.
On Tuesday the Finance Director called me into his office to discuss his plans for my future. He had big plans, getting me more staff, moving my team so it became a department with me leading it etc etc. It would have been really motivating if I believed one single word he said. He is full of pipe dreams and false promises. I’ve listened before and nothing comes of what he says. The only thing it did was mess with my head before the interview. Work don’t know I’ve had interviews but they must suspect something either that or they have finally realised just how deeply unhappy I’ve been 6 months too late.
My looking for a new job and try to loss weight are linked to me trying to sort my life out. It’s far easier to keep working for the same company than to put yourself out there to find a new job and having to go through interviews with people judging you. I know that as a graduate looking for a job, my weight was a factor in my not getting jobs. Employers think that if you can’t control your weight, you might not be an effective employee.
Being heavy works as an great barrier between you and other people, figuratively and literally. I’ve never been able to get close to people even as a friend let alone anything more. If anyone showed any interest I wondered what was wrong with them. If no one gets near you they can’t hurt you.
I want things to change and I’m trying to get things to change, one step at a time.
Good luck on the job, I hope you hear something soon! I know how that is. It took me 8 months to get through the hiring process at the job I am currently at. I hope this site and the people on here help you to realize that it is okay to open up and that some people are judgmental but there are many who will like and love you for who you are. Hope you have a wonderful day and hope you hear about the job first thing in the morning!
Aw…I am sorry. It seems when we want something bad enough, people always seem to get in our way…just be patient with yourself. What is meant to be will be
fingers are crossed for you
good luck..i know what it is like to be miserable in a job…i have been before….everything will happen as it should
Sue, all I have to say is….you are so right as to the discrimination, when it comes to being overweight. Although, personally, I have not experienced that fact…I have seen it all too well…. I wish you the best in your endevours…and hope and pray that you make the right choices for yourself…. You will be okay, just put yourself first…you deserve it…eventually, things will fall into place…and don’t ever accept anything less than you feel you deserve……flo
Hey sue, the thing I really love about this blog is your honesty. It always makes you feel that sense of relief when you can get this stuff out of your system. I wish you the best of luck with your job and hope you hear from them asap!
I definitely get what you mean with the weight coming between forming relationships. I started uni this year and have barely made any friends because I have just lost so much confidence that I don’t put myself out there to make more of an effort, so I completely respect you putting yourself out of your comfort zone to look for a job that may make you a lot happier!
And as for the anything more, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and he always tells me he thinks I am gorgeous etc but I just can’t accept what he says. I look at myself and just hate it, and I doubt it even more because I have put on over 4 stone (56 lbs for non englanders lol) since we started dating…wow I only just realised how much it was lol.
The fact is we will never be truly happy until we are happy with ourselves and as they always say “how can someone love you if you don’t love yourself”… thing is a lot of people do love us, we just don’t see that, and THAT is what we need to work on.
Thanks for all your support sue, I really appreciate it x