Sue81

I’m going to stay where I am. It is the right choice for me. It is a positive decision I believe. I have unfinished business here and if I leave a lot of the work I have done over the last 5 years will go to waste. The changes they have implemented mean more responsibility and a focus where my skills lie, so I can continue to add value.

No matter which way I looked at it I couldn’t commit to the new job. It didn’t suit me. I’m not cut out to be a consultant  and what is the point of moving back if I’m going to be away all week. It also in a strange way felt like a step backwards not forwards. I’m glad I applied as it has meant I have reassessed my working life and have moved it in a positive direction (okay so I also got a big pay increase out of it).

My new assistant starts next Tuesday and I am being given free rein to focus his training towards the areas of our work which I no longer wish to focus on. This will free up my time for my new responsibilities. In three months time we will be recruiting another assistant to allow the team to continue to develop. I am going to get some training on how to manage people and leadership etc. My previous attempt didn’t go very well, my people issues make me want to avoid conflict which is not always the best in a boss.

I’m feeling better now I have made this decision and will do everything to make sure this works out. I know factors other than the pure job have affected this decision in both directions but it is part of who I am.

I haven’t yet told either company as my current employers have promised to put the things we’ve been discussing in writing and I want that in my hand before I tell them I’m staying. Once that is confirmed I will get in touch with my recruitment consultant and let him know my decision. I doubt he’ll be pleased as he won’t get paid if I don’t take the job.

Now this is sorted I am going to set out some goals and actions for myself:

1. Get back on plan and lose the weight
- I have not been fully on plan for a while now. I’ve still been losing but I know if I’m fully committed it will get better. I’m not going to set a certain time frame as if I do that and do not succeed I will become disheartened. I will do as I stated at the beginning and take it 1st (14lbs) at a time.

2. Get a full health MOT
- I’ve never been in the best of health and the years of abusing my body through feeding it crap and forcing it to carry all this extra weight have certainly not improved the situation. I think it is time I had a good check up to make sure nothing is lurking which needs dealing with and to allow me to get a handle on some of my health problems. Allergies, asthma, eczema and PCOS are a lovely combination. I also think I need to ask the doc some hard questions, some are easier left unasked.

3. Get some help for my people issues
-It is time I dealt with this properly. I’m not sure exactly what the problem is but I’m going to find someone I can talk this through with and try to deal with why I am scared of people. Hopefully it will allow me to move on with other areas of my life.

4. Get more active
- I used to love swimming, circuit training and weights but these days my activity level is around zero. Other than the odd walk and session on the wii I do nothing. I’d love to get down the gym but I don’t have the confidence. I need to find something I can do to aid the weight loss. I think I might invest in a punch bag or something similar. Whatever I need to do something.

5. Get on the housing ladder
- Not weight related but an important part of my committing to staying here.  Something with a bit more space would mean no more excuses as to why people can’t come round and I aim to try to invite some colleagues round for a meal with a laugh or two with the wii once I get this sorted.

I think those will do as a starting point. Sorry it is such a long post.
I’d like to thank all my buddies for their comments while I’ve been making my decision, it helped me to blog. Oh and Flo, you’re right, I’m not sure I really know what happy is but I want to try and find out, so yes I will still talk to you!